April 28th & 29th

Today was not too bad of a day! I got over 10 hours of sleep and woke feeling rested. I managed my nausea pretty well and had some wonderful sister in my ward take great care of me! I had very little energy so it was nice to rest. By the evening I was 'thinking' I felt normal, but by then end of dinner I had overdone it. My kids noise bothered me, their running around and being happy bothered me. Stimulation seems to make me sick. I took a pill an went to sleep around 9:30. Our smoke detectors started making sounds around 3am and woke me from my comfortable sleep. By 5:30am I was feeling a huge wave of nausea and needed to take a pill. I didn't sleep comfortable after that. Dave was very good to let me stay in bed while he took care of the kids and got them off to school. He even came back home after dropping Drea off to make sure I was ok. I am very thankful to those who were on my calendar as helpers today! My morning helper made a yummy scrambled egg and my mid-morning helper took me for a walk, which felt GREAT! I had a nice yummy salad just before taking me afternoon nap.
So far I have not noticed any rash, which means no side effect to the taxitere. Hurray! And my mouth sores are not as bad as last time either. (Are you loving this great news as much as I am?!)
This afternoon I did something that a normal person would do- I went to the bread store. I felt super accomplished! I got to spend some one-on-one time with Colter doing homework. I think we spent more time chatting than actually doing work, but that was ok. I enjoyed it!
Once I was able to get over the worst of the nausea I would say that today has been one of the better days.
Here's to hoping for more better days!

April 25th & 26th

Friday morning at 1:50am I could no longer sleep. I'm going to blame the steroids I took. I was able to stay in bed and rest but sleep never took over again. After the kids were off to school and I'd taken my morning steroid I was still tired but feeling buzzed from the drug. I folded laundry, cleaned up the kitchen, de-junked my freezer and gave it a good scrub down. I had soup for lunch and was finally able to take a quick nap after lunch. My boys went home with a friend after school which was very helpful as that was the time I was sleeping. Up to this point I hadn't felt nauseated, but my body didn't feel good. All those chemo drugs don't help. I had a nice time with the girls after they got home. Had a snack and eventually picked up the boys from their play date.
Drea had her 'attention' date with her Aunt Janelle. Dallas went off and hung out with friends so it was just Dave and I and the boys. We spent our time working on the boys pine wood derby cars at Dave's parents house. I snuggled on their couch under a blanket while the boys did their thing. By bedtime I was exhausted but wasn't able to fall asleep so I took one of my pills and slept from 10:30pm-8:30am. I woke this morning feeling really great!! I was able to go with Dallas to her Young Women recognition luncheon. And I was able to eat and enjoy the food they served! Dave had a couple errands to run and I was feeling good enough so I tagged along. This afternoon I took a nice nap and have continued to feel pretty good. I am eating every 2 hours and have enjoyed what I've ate. Dallas and Aundrea had a special outing today with a friend and neighbor who took them shopping. They came home with some really fun and cute clothes! My dad stopped by for a visit and it was nice to see him and hear about his camping trip. As for now, Dallas is off at the Real soccer game, Dave and Drea are off having some daddy daughter time and I'm home bathing the boys and settling in for a nice quiet night.
I am grateful to have had 2 pretty good days after chemo. I know your prayers are working. I feel them. I am truly grateful for them!

I love you all!

Chemo #2

I was able to use my numbing jelly this morning. It seemed to help as this port access was the least painful.
Before chemo I saw the Dr. He did a breast exam and couldn't even find a lump. AT ALL!! That means this chemo garbage is doing its job! We talked about menopause, and it looks like having sporadic periods or none at all is normal. I've had menopause symptoms, but I also experienced a period, and let me tell you it wasn't pleasant. (sorry men reading this. be glad you're not a girl). We discussed management for nausea this go around. I'm going to take my pill the in the morning before I start having symptoms to see if that helps me get through the day a little better. I still need to exersize each day despite my not feeling good. This can be really hard when I'm feeling my worst, but I see its advantages so I'll make myself do it! I gave a urine sample and it came back negative for a bladder infection, which means I was most likely passing a kidney stone. This morning I was already over it. They are going to culture out the urine just to be safe, but most likely it'll be negative still.
My friend Michelle Hilton joined me for my treatment today to photograph all the fun, and not so fun. We waited for almost 30 minutes before I was called back into the chemo room. By then there were quite a few people in the room. It has about 18 chairs and I'd say they were a little more than half in use. My sister-in-law joined us as well and brought with her the most amazing treat! Homemade kettle corn! We played a game and gobbled down our delicious popcorn. My treatment began around 11:20 and I was done by 2:30.My friend from my 1st treatment was there and it was fun to see her and give her a big hug. Up to this point I still had no idea what her name was or what cancer she was battling. All I know is we connected the first time we met. She's one chemo ahead of me so it's nice to hear how she's handling it so I know what to expect. She is probably in her late 60's, early 70's, so her experience and mine may vary a little because I've got youth and great health on my side. I'm not exactly sure what drew her to me, but she's just one of those people I can tell is someone special. I hope to get know her better. I did learn today that her cancer is lymphoma, inoperable, and she only has to have 6 chemo treatments, and will have a 90% success rate. That's great news!
Tonight Dave and I were able to take the boys to their Literacy Night. It made me so happy being back in the Elementary school! I truly miss volunteering in the classroom and the teachers I worked with. Seeing other Mom's and people I know was great too!
My plan? I planning on feeling good tomorrow. I'll do whatever comes to mind, and have no set chores. If all goes like it did last time I'll start feeling crumby tomorrow night around bedtime. However I've heard the 2nd treatment isn't as hard. Let's hope.
As for updates? Once the yucky part hits the updates will be given by my other co-authors.
I do have a great setup for next week with people coming in to help feed me during the day while my hubby and kids are at work and school. I'm excited to see if that's helpful. I know so many of you want to do 'something', so this should give people that opportunity.
Feel free to send me a text. Talking on the phone is too hard when I'm battling the worst of it, so don't be offended if you call and I don't answer.
I've said it before and I'll keep saying it! Thank you for your love and support! I could not do this without it! Your prayers and concern are felt! I continue to be amazed by how many people have reached out to me. I am truly humbled and grateful! Thank you!

I love you all!

Possible Infection

This afternoon I started having symptoms of a bladder infection or kidney stone. The Dr. had me start taking the antibiotic they gave me to use 'in emergencies'. Tomorrow they'll check me out at my visit in the morning and see if it's an infection or stone. Despite this I can still received chemo treatment as planned.

Ugh! Please keep up the prayers! I'm feeling discouraged by this new symptom. I hate pain! I just want to be normal.

Love you all!

Side Effects

Two of the side effects I was told would happen have started to happen. Menopause and my hair falling out. The menopause may just be temporary while I'm going through chemo, or could be here to stay. Either way I feel too young to be dealing with this. There is a chance that my body will remember I'm young and I'll get my periods back some time next year, which means I'll get to experience going through menopause twice.
The hair loss? While it's not coming out in huge chunks it is coming out! Every time I touch my head. I sweep the bathroom every morning after I'm done getting ready. And the bathroom sink is covered with hair. At this rate maybe I won't need to shave my head until next week. However it starts coming out in bigger chunks I'll shave it sooner.  I thought I had prepared myself emotionally for this, but I'm finding myself a little emotional. Not to the point of needing to cry, but I feel unsettled.
I went and bought fabric today with Drea to make a couple chemo scarves. I hope they turn out cute! I'll post a picture later when I have them finished.

Planner Events/ Food Ideas

I am going to have Sarah add some events to the calender before I begin my next Chemo. I'm going to expect to be sick similar to after my 1st chemo. Last time I was sick for 5 days. Now that I experienced the battle of not feeling well it'll be easier to ask for help knowing that I'm going to need it! Most of the help I'll need are during the day while my husband and kids will be off at work and school. I'll need someone to MAKE me eat, and help with simple house chores, like laundry and dishes. Watch for those to be added.
Also, I'm having the hardest time coming up with easy meals for me! Quick, not a lot of preparation kind of things. Comment below any suggestion you have! Flavors can be really yucky during the sick days, so the more simple and bland the better. I'd welcome any suggestions.

Thanks! And, I love you all!

The Treatment Plan

This was discussed in our family meeting, but I thought I'd better put it here on the blog so you can refer back to it. It can change at any time.
I will receive 6 chemo treatments every 3 weeks of TCH . I have already received the first treatment, so there are only 5 more. My next appointment is April 24th. My last appointment is scheduled to be July 17th, but I'm going to push it back a week so I can go on vacation with my family to Jackson Hole. However if any of my other dates get changed, my ending date will also change.
Once this hard chemo is done I will continue receiving chemo for 11 more treatments every 3 weeks again. This chemo will consist of Herceptin and Pertuzmah (Homormone blocking agents). These treatments will not leave me sick. Projected end date for this chemo is March 5th, 2015.
Going back to the ending of the 6th treatment- I will get a month break before having a temporary surgery. All the surgeons we met with seemed to feel my cancer mass was too big to do just a lump ectomy and feel it is necessary to do a mastectomy. For this surgery the breast tissue will be removed and a saline implant will be put in. I again will be give some time to heal before starting radiation. As of today I am not sure if I will do a double mastectomy or just a single. It's a big decision and one I need time to ponder over. Radiation will be every weekday for 6 weeks. I'm thinking I'll be done with radiation around Thanksgiving.
After radiation I will have a period of time to let the skin heal, about 6 months. After the healing period I will have the final breast surgery where the saline implant is removed and the silicone one is placed. If all goes as 'planned' I will be done by next Summer.

All along this journey I will have my blood tested at chemo appointments and in between to make sure I'm staying as healthy as possible. I know I will have follow MRI's to make sure the cancer is responding to the chemo, and I'll have echo cardiograms to make sure my heart is handling the stress of chemo.
When I did my own breast exam the other day I could already tell a difference in the size of my lump. That is encouraging and give me hope. Hope gives me strength! Hope is a wonderful feeling!

I love you all!