Many of you have asked how I am feeling emotionally, here it is- by Monday night I had calmed down and accepted this bump in the road. I feel peace of mind. I am comfortable with my situation. I feel confidant that everything will work out. Eventually.
Monday I called my insurance and had a huge list of cardiologists I could see. I wanted to go to the same heart clinic I had been receiving my previous echocardiograms and was able to. I picked the soonest appointment they had, which was yesterday (Tuesday) at 2:30. I had taken with me a copy of the EKG from the surgical center but they still did one of their own. And wouldn't you know it! My heart beat just as it should. It performed perfectly. The heart condition I was experiencing Monday is called PVC (Premature Ventricular Contractions). It's not uncommon for your heart to throw off a random beat out of rhythm every once in while, but my heart was doing it in between every regular beat, that is NOT normal. But again, it only did that Monday, they couldn't recreate the problem Tuesday. It was decided that I would go home with a heart monitor to record my heart rhythm for the following 24 hours. Following the 24 hours I would return the monitor and they'd download my data.
I was also scheduled an echocardiogram for Wednesday at 3pm, which is when I was to return the heart monitor. The electrode tabs for the heart monitor were itchy and uncomfortable. Chemo has changed my skin and I am now allergic to adhesive from band-aids and the like. I was told that if the discomfort was too great to just take the tabs off and abort the recording. It was really hard, but I made it the full 24 hours! But it came with a cost, I now have itchy welt marks where the tabs were on my skin. Hopefully with a little hydro-cortisone cream I can have this cleared up by tomorrow.
When I showed up for my echo today I was told I was 30 minutes late. I guess they told me the wrong time yesterday. I was their last appointment of the day today and the lady checking me in wasn't very happy that I had delayed her going home. Today's echo was different than the ones I had during chemo, it was more intense. They mostly focused on certain parts of the heart and the muscle lining. My appointment consisted of 45 minutes of baseline imaging and 15 minutes doing an infinity echo (an echo using contrast). I had 3 different people take turns doing the testing. The first guy did the 15 minute infinity test and then decided he needed to use the contrast. The contrast allows for all the area of the heart they are looking at to be lighted up. To read more about this type of echo click on this link. An IV was started. I've already had 2 needle, IV pokes this week so now I have 3 holes in my arm. I still have a huge fear of needles! Today's experience getting poked was unpleasant. I bled a lot and they had to work to control my bleeding. Before doing the echo with contrast another technician did my baseline test. IT. TOOK. FOREVER! My expanders made for a really uncomfortable time too! Can I tell you how much I won't miss them?! Finally they did the contrast, Difinity echo. This part was the most fascinating to me! Watching the muscle lining contract and blood swooshing in and out of my heart was cool! Someone will read my tests and then I'll get the results, but the technicians all said they thought things looked normal.
Before leaving St. Marks I dropped off my heart monitor. They will read the data tomorrow morning and I'll know my results from that, and hopefully my echo as well, tomorrow afternoon.
This week has had its ups and downs, but I am so grateful to know that my needs are being met and that I am being well taken care of. Everyone has been so compassionate and kind, from the doctors and nurses to my friends and family!
I'm thankful for a friend who brought us a picnic dinner Monday night! A friend for dropping by a bag full of things to make me smile (and laugh), a brother who came by to hug me tight! Another amazing neighbor for dinner Tuesday! Grateful for a sweaty hug from a friend who was out running and stopped by just to hug me! Grateful for text messages, phone calls and beautiful flowers! I know that my Heavenly Father is watching over me. How can he not be with so many people praying for me?! Please be still me heart, so I can move on and schedule my reconstruction!
I love you all!
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
Monday, June 1, 2015
Christy's Surgery Update
Just a quick surgery update. Christy, Dave, and her dad checked in for her surgery at 8:30am. They made it through all the prep work--dressing, IVs, paperwork, etc. But sadly they hit an unexpected snag.
While the anesthesiologist went through his pre-surgery checklist he discovered Christy has an irregular heartbeat. While she's had other heart issues throughout this journey, today's problem is something more serious, something that has developed since last September. The anesthesiologist put a complete stop on today's surgery--it's too risky without addressing this new issue with her heart. They sent her home without rescheduling the surgery and with orders to get evaluated by a cardiologist and resolve the heart issues first.
As you can imagine, Christy is really really struggling with this. She had made a lot of preparations for today--physically, psychologically, emotionally, etc. She was ready to finish off this last stage and move forward. Instead she faces a whole new unexpected challenge.
Please send your prayers and thoughts her way.
Thanks,
Melissa
While the anesthesiologist went through his pre-surgery checklist he discovered Christy has an irregular heartbeat. While she's had other heart issues throughout this journey, today's problem is something more serious, something that has developed since last September. The anesthesiologist put a complete stop on today's surgery--it's too risky without addressing this new issue with her heart. They sent her home without rescheduling the surgery and with orders to get evaluated by a cardiologist and resolve the heart issues first.
As you can imagine, Christy is really really struggling with this. She had made a lot of preparations for today--physically, psychologically, emotionally, etc. She was ready to finish off this last stage and move forward. Instead she faces a whole new unexpected challenge.
Please send your prayers and thoughts her way.
Thanks,
Melissa
Thursday, May 28, 2015
My Big Dream
I have been having so much fun making Chemo scarves! So much fun that I find myself thinking about fabric, ALL THE TIME! I love checking for coupons to JoAnns, and I especially love hunting through the bolts of fabric for some fun designs. At night I dream about these scarves, and while I sleep great ideas come to my mind. Idea's that make me super excited and make me want MORE fabric!
Originally this project was going to be only 17 scarves, one for each chemo treatment. That was an easy project to fulfill. I have since made around 76 scarves, and that's just the ones I've completed! I have about 30-35 cut out and waiting to be sewn!
So what's my Big Dream?
My big dream is to get my chemo scarves in all of the 50 States! In order to do this I'll need to find friends or contacts in each state and ask them if they'd be willing to let me mail them a package of 10 chemo scarves and they'll just have to deliver them to a chemo center in their town. That shouldn't be too hard, right? Before I start looking for a contact from each state I need to buy a map from Utah Idaho Supply. One that I can write the name and address of the contact person in their state.
Dave and I need to sit down and design a logo to put on the tags for these scarves. And I'm hoping the company I found will print my logo on their labels. *Fingers crossed!*
10 scarves in 50 states is 500 chemo scarves! Holy! That's a lot! I'm not in a hurry to finish this project, I'll be ok if it takes me more than a year to complete. This project is about the process and getting FREE scarves onto the heads of chemo patients!
But how am I going to make this happen? So far I've been self funding this project, with a few friends who have donated (some super cute) Fabric. I'd love any suggestions on how I can get my hands on LOTS of fabric! I've thought of looking for businesses who would donate, but I'm not sure if I need to be a Non-profit to receive donations from a business. Anyone know how that works?
If you would like to donate fabric, or money for me to go pick out fabric, thread, etc, here's the breakdown of needs:
Fabric:
28 inches makes 2 chemo scarves and 2-3 JP drain bags.
1 yard and 20 inches will make 4 chemo scarves and about 8 JP drain bags.
2 1/3 yards will make 6 scarves and 16-20 JP drain bags.
Thread- tan preferably. The stitches are less obvious with tan than white thread.
Double sided ribbon (white)- 3/8in X 18 ft will make ties for 3 drain bags.
- 1/4in X 10 yds will make ties for 5 drain bags.
I have found the 3/8in X 18ft ribbon at JoAnns for $1.99, and the 1/4in X 10yds at Michaels for FIFTY CENTS! And if you have a coupon it could be even cheaper!
If any of you have any suggestion on how I can make this project go, I'd love to hear your ideas!
Lastly, quite a few of you have asked if I'll teach you how to make these scarves so you can do them at home. They really aren't hard! But what I'm thinking of doing is, after surgery and I'm feeling pretty good, I'll organize a sewing night at my house where I can teach you 'HOW' I cut them out, iron them, sew them, etc. If you'd be interested in coming to a scarf sewing night at my house let me know, that way I know who to invite.
Originally this project was going to be only 17 scarves, one for each chemo treatment. That was an easy project to fulfill. I have since made around 76 scarves, and that's just the ones I've completed! I have about 30-35 cut out and waiting to be sewn!
So what's my Big Dream?
My big dream is to get my chemo scarves in all of the 50 States! In order to do this I'll need to find friends or contacts in each state and ask them if they'd be willing to let me mail them a package of 10 chemo scarves and they'll just have to deliver them to a chemo center in their town. That shouldn't be too hard, right? Before I start looking for a contact from each state I need to buy a map from Utah Idaho Supply. One that I can write the name and address of the contact person in their state.
Dave and I need to sit down and design a logo to put on the tags for these scarves. And I'm hoping the company I found will print my logo on their labels. *Fingers crossed!*
10 scarves in 50 states is 500 chemo scarves! Holy! That's a lot! I'm not in a hurry to finish this project, I'll be ok if it takes me more than a year to complete. This project is about the process and getting FREE scarves onto the heads of chemo patients!
But how am I going to make this happen? So far I've been self funding this project, with a few friends who have donated (some super cute) Fabric. I'd love any suggestions on how I can get my hands on LOTS of fabric! I've thought of looking for businesses who would donate, but I'm not sure if I need to be a Non-profit to receive donations from a business. Anyone know how that works?
If you would like to donate fabric, or money for me to go pick out fabric, thread, etc, here's the breakdown of needs:
Fabric:
28 inches makes 2 chemo scarves and 2-3 JP drain bags.
1 yard and 20 inches will make 4 chemo scarves and about 8 JP drain bags.
2 1/3 yards will make 6 scarves and 16-20 JP drain bags.
Thread- tan preferably. The stitches are less obvious with tan than white thread.
Double sided ribbon (white)- 3/8in X 18 ft will make ties for 3 drain bags.
- 1/4in X 10 yds will make ties for 5 drain bags.
I have found the 3/8in X 18ft ribbon at JoAnns for $1.99, and the 1/4in X 10yds at Michaels for FIFTY CENTS! And if you have a coupon it could be even cheaper!
If any of you have any suggestion on how I can make this project go, I'd love to hear your ideas!
Lastly, quite a few of you have asked if I'll teach you how to make these scarves so you can do them at home. They really aren't hard! But what I'm thinking of doing is, after surgery and I'm feeling pretty good, I'll organize a sewing night at my house where I can teach you 'HOW' I cut them out, iron them, sew them, etc. If you'd be interested in coming to a scarf sewing night at my house let me know, that way I know who to invite.
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Cancer takes the blame
I've noticed that I put the blame on Cancer for most things that go wrong in my life. If I get frustrated because my chemo brain is sabotaging my productivity, I blame Cancer. If I don't have the energy level to get my house work done, I blame Cancer. And when I struggle with my new self image I blame Cancer. Yesterday was a day where I blamed Cancer for something it had no relation to, it's pretty silly now that I think back on it, but at the time I was mad at the situation I was in and I just knew that it was Cancer's fault!
Here's the story-
Trying to prepare and get everything done before my upcoming surgery is causing me to feel anxiety and stress. I don't mind doing the chores and things that need to be done, but what I don't like is the pressure I feel to get them done in a certain time frame (before SUNDAY!)
The list I had for yesterday was not too crazy: 1) Pick up ladder from neighbor 2) Drop off van to the dealership to be repaired. 3)Wash the walls in my entry way. 4) Wash the ceiling fan in said entry way. 5) Mow the front and back lawns. 6) Edge both lawns and fertilize.
After coming back home from dropping off my van I mowed the lawns and did the edging before it started to rain. My timing was perfect! It literally started raining the minute I put my edger away. Mowing and edging only took me 2 hours! Coming in the house to start washing walls and the ceiling fan I realized I couldn't remember how to use the neighbors ladder. It's a tall one and VERY heavy. It took me a while to figure it out but eventually I did. Getting the ladder into a good position to climb and do the cleaning I accidentally scraped the paint off the wall. I was beginning to feel frustrated but I was still determined to get the job done. I climbed up and started cleaning the fan blades, it was looking so nice, but my rag was becoming all junked up, so I climbed down to rinse it out. After rinsing out my rag I glanced up to admire the nice clean fan and then my brain did the dumbest thing, it forgot that I was just rinsing my rag and needed to climb back up and finish cleaning the rest of the fan. I was admiring my work and feeling accomplished that I was done; I started cleaning up and awkwardly figured out how to take the ladder back down. Once the ladder was situated on the my landing all ready to be taken back to the neighbor I realized I really wasn't done cleaning the darn ceiling fan! But now I was worn out from maneuvering this heavy ladder that I didn't have the strength to put it back up and finish the job. Oh-Well! I moved on to the ceiling fan in my room and figured I ask Dallas or Drea to help me with the ladder later in the day.
Soon after my cleaning was done I got a phone call from the dealership telling me how much it was going to cost to fix my problems. The problems were going to cost more than I could afford so I told them I'd come pick up my van and come back another time when I could afford the repairs. The problems weren't new and I had already been living with them for a while so what's another couple weeks? The problem that was the most concerning was my ignition switch, the key has a hard time going in! And it's gets a little more difficult each time. By diagnosing the problem they messed up the tumblers within the ingnition, which meant when I tried to leave the dealership my key wouldn't go in and therefore I couldn't start my van and leave. I tried for a good 20 minutes. By this point I was starting to cry because it was obvious I was going to have to leave my van to be fixed. Which means trying to find a ride home, AGAIN! And figuring out how to pay for repairs. Ugh! I hopped out of the van to go find the service writer and explain that whatever they did messed up the ignition even more, to the point it was going to be staying for them to fix. Couldn't find the service writer. Where in the heck did he go?! After 5 minutes or so of looking for him I went back to my van and began trying to get my key to go in and start. 10 or so minutes later it started!! The tears started up again! I was so happy! The plan at this point was to drive it home and park it in the garage, with the key IN the ignition so when we're ready to get it fixed we can drive it to wherever it needs to go. As I was driving home I was quite emotional and I remember saying, out loud, 'Cancer, this is all your fault!' I'm sure it isn't really cancers fault, but it felt so good to give it the blame. Cancer should get the bad wrap for everything that goes wrong. The changes in me both physical and emotional because of cancer probably make handling hard and stressful situations that much harder. Nobody likes stress, nobody likes dealing with hard things. And I've never met anyone who liked cancer either.
If I need to find something positive in this I guess I'd have to say that there must be something to learn from it. If I'll goes well I'll have a pretty good idea of just how much stress I can handle. By the weight of the current stresses I'd say I'm going to be a body builder in no time!
Here's the story-
Trying to prepare and get everything done before my upcoming surgery is causing me to feel anxiety and stress. I don't mind doing the chores and things that need to be done, but what I don't like is the pressure I feel to get them done in a certain time frame (before SUNDAY!)
The list I had for yesterday was not too crazy: 1) Pick up ladder from neighbor 2) Drop off van to the dealership to be repaired. 3)Wash the walls in my entry way. 4) Wash the ceiling fan in said entry way. 5) Mow the front and back lawns. 6) Edge both lawns and fertilize.
After coming back home from dropping off my van I mowed the lawns and did the edging before it started to rain. My timing was perfect! It literally started raining the minute I put my edger away. Mowing and edging only took me 2 hours! Coming in the house to start washing walls and the ceiling fan I realized I couldn't remember how to use the neighbors ladder. It's a tall one and VERY heavy. It took me a while to figure it out but eventually I did. Getting the ladder into a good position to climb and do the cleaning I accidentally scraped the paint off the wall. I was beginning to feel frustrated but I was still determined to get the job done. I climbed up and started cleaning the fan blades, it was looking so nice, but my rag was becoming all junked up, so I climbed down to rinse it out. After rinsing out my rag I glanced up to admire the nice clean fan and then my brain did the dumbest thing, it forgot that I was just rinsing my rag and needed to climb back up and finish cleaning the rest of the fan. I was admiring my work and feeling accomplished that I was done; I started cleaning up and awkwardly figured out how to take the ladder back down. Once the ladder was situated on the my landing all ready to be taken back to the neighbor I realized I really wasn't done cleaning the darn ceiling fan! But now I was worn out from maneuvering this heavy ladder that I didn't have the strength to put it back up and finish the job. Oh-Well! I moved on to the ceiling fan in my room and figured I ask Dallas or Drea to help me with the ladder later in the day.
Soon after my cleaning was done I got a phone call from the dealership telling me how much it was going to cost to fix my problems. The problems were going to cost more than I could afford so I told them I'd come pick up my van and come back another time when I could afford the repairs. The problems weren't new and I had already been living with them for a while so what's another couple weeks? The problem that was the most concerning was my ignition switch, the key has a hard time going in! And it's gets a little more difficult each time. By diagnosing the problem they messed up the tumblers within the ingnition, which meant when I tried to leave the dealership my key wouldn't go in and therefore I couldn't start my van and leave. I tried for a good 20 minutes. By this point I was starting to cry because it was obvious I was going to have to leave my van to be fixed. Which means trying to find a ride home, AGAIN! And figuring out how to pay for repairs. Ugh! I hopped out of the van to go find the service writer and explain that whatever they did messed up the ignition even more, to the point it was going to be staying for them to fix. Couldn't find the service writer. Where in the heck did he go?! After 5 minutes or so of looking for him I went back to my van and began trying to get my key to go in and start. 10 or so minutes later it started!! The tears started up again! I was so happy! The plan at this point was to drive it home and park it in the garage, with the key IN the ignition so when we're ready to get it fixed we can drive it to wherever it needs to go. As I was driving home I was quite emotional and I remember saying, out loud, 'Cancer, this is all your fault!' I'm sure it isn't really cancers fault, but it felt so good to give it the blame. Cancer should get the bad wrap for everything that goes wrong. The changes in me both physical and emotional because of cancer probably make handling hard and stressful situations that much harder. Nobody likes stress, nobody likes dealing with hard things. And I've never met anyone who liked cancer either.
If I need to find something positive in this I guess I'd have to say that there must be something to learn from it. If I'll goes well I'll have a pretty good idea of just how much stress I can handle. By the weight of the current stresses I'd say I'm going to be a body builder in no time!
Thursday, April 30, 2015
Port flush?
I was really hoping that last chemo was the last time I'd have to have my port accessed! But, alas it wasn't! Because I changed surgeons and surgery dates it looks like I need to have my port flushed. It's perfectly normal to be nervous and upset that I have parts of this chemo process to deal with. Flushing the port is important! But that doesn't mean I have to like doing it! It's a good thing I'm kicking cancers trash because I'm pretty sure I could never get used to my port being accessed!
So, here's hoping tomorrow's port flush will be the final port access!
Wish me luck!
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
A day with my Dad
Check out my awesome fortune! Totally appropriate for me! Don't you think?!
This was the shirt I wore today. It was a gift from our Chemo Bandit. I can only wear it for a few more weeks and then my 'under construction' will become a 'project complete!' I love that I am comfortable taking about my cancer to just about anyone. I really think I've been pretty positive through this but it's been hard! REALLY HARD! But something I remember saying in the beginning keeps coming to my mind, 'If me going through cancer can help ONE person It'll be worth it!'. We all have trials, and hard things happen to us. These things are meant to help US grow, but I also believe there are times when others grow by watching people go through trials. I love it when people come up to me and tell me what they have learned from my cancer. In so many ways it feels like this cancer has changed more people than just myself.
Thank you for encouraging me through this journey! I have the best family and friends! I have never felt alone! Thank you for loving me!
I love you all!
Monday, April 27, 2015
I'm a Roofer!
I woke up Saturday and it felt like I had a spider bite on my neck. I showed it to Dave and he agreed that it looked like a spider bite. The morning was busy and we quickly rushed to be ready for basketball games (Dave and Brad), AP study class (Dallas) and a day of volunteering for me at a Stake activity. During the service activity I kept thinking that my spider bite sure hurt. A LOT! I figured it wouldn't do any good to complain about it, and lets face it, a spider bite is nothing compared to the pain I felt from my double mastectomy. If I was strong enough to handle the pain from the mastectomy I could surely handle the pain from this bite...or so I thought.
Sunday morning Dave woke up to get ready for Bishopric meeting and wasn't feeling well. He's been working so hard and without many days off, so it's no wonder. He ended up staying home from meetings to sleep and get feeling better before the new work week began. I tried not to complain about my neck while I got ready for a missionary homecoming, but I'm sure I told Dave more than a few time how much it was bothering me. During the homecoming talks I kept scratching at my neck and thinking how much this was getting worse. By the time I came home and picked up my kids to go to our ward I was feeling pretty irritated by anything! that touched my neck! Before sacrament I stopped in the library to make copies and ran into a nurse friend. I asked her if she thought my neck looked like a spider bite. She told me she thought it was shingles and that a visit to the instacare TODAY was a pretty good idea for me! So, with her suggestion I texted Dave and told him about this conversation. After church I was pretty grumpy and super aggitated. Everything was bugging my neck- the sweater I was wearing, my clothes rubbing, the air moving across my skin. After getting dinner started Dave took me to instacare. The doctor diagnosed the shingles, ordered some prescriptions and we were on our way. The doctor prescribed an anti-viral pill to help the virus run its course quicker and a cream to put on the rash to help soothe it. Picking up my prescriptions we learned that the cream was going to cost us about $150 for a little tube, so I opted to tough it out and not get it. I'm taking the anti-viral pill 5 TIMES a day! Thank goodness for alarms on my phone! I have to wake up at night to take my pills too, that part it lousy, but if it means this incessant pain goes away sooner, I'm all for it! As for the size of these pills they remind me of a small rodent! They're HUGE! They don't give huge pills to wimps do they? You'd have to be a pretty tough person to choke down this big pill. Tough people have hard jobs, like roofing. I can be a roofer! I can be tough! And when I'm done taking all these pills I may be left with no shingles, but I'll still be a tough roofer!
Sunday morning Dave woke up to get ready for Bishopric meeting and wasn't feeling well. He's been working so hard and without many days off, so it's no wonder. He ended up staying home from meetings to sleep and get feeling better before the new work week began. I tried not to complain about my neck while I got ready for a missionary homecoming, but I'm sure I told Dave more than a few time how much it was bothering me. During the homecoming talks I kept scratching at my neck and thinking how much this was getting worse. By the time I came home and picked up my kids to go to our ward I was feeling pretty irritated by anything! that touched my neck! Before sacrament I stopped in the library to make copies and ran into a nurse friend. I asked her if she thought my neck looked like a spider bite. She told me she thought it was shingles and that a visit to the instacare TODAY was a pretty good idea for me! So, with her suggestion I texted Dave and told him about this conversation. After church I was pretty grumpy and super aggitated. Everything was bugging my neck- the sweater I was wearing, my clothes rubbing, the air moving across my skin. After getting dinner started Dave took me to instacare. The doctor diagnosed the shingles, ordered some prescriptions and we were on our way. The doctor prescribed an anti-viral pill to help the virus run its course quicker and a cream to put on the rash to help soothe it. Picking up my prescriptions we learned that the cream was going to cost us about $150 for a little tube, so I opted to tough it out and not get it. I'm taking the anti-viral pill 5 TIMES a day! Thank goodness for alarms on my phone! I have to wake up at night to take my pills too, that part it lousy, but if it means this incessant pain goes away sooner, I'm all for it! As for the size of these pills they remind me of a small rodent! They're HUGE! They don't give huge pills to wimps do they? You'd have to be a pretty tough person to choke down this big pill. Tough people have hard jobs, like roofing. I can be a roofer! I can be tough! And when I'm done taking all these pills I may be left with no shingles, but I'll still be a tough roofer!
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