The laundry is all folded and put away. The floors are swept and mopped. The living room is nicely vacuumed. The bathrooms are clean!
Tomorrow is Go Time!! Hopefully this time for reals!
I need to be at the Surgical Center at 8am. Surgery will begin sometime around 9am. I imagine I'll be home in the afternoon. Melissa will send out an email with an update when surgery is over.
Wish me luck!
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
Friday, June 5, 2015
The Finish Line is in Sight!!
I've never run a marathon, but I've heard runners say the last part is the hardest! This past year has felt like a marathon! And then having new bumps in the road right at surgery time?! UGH! The bumps in the road leave me feeling weak, emotionally and psychologically! I'm done! So close to the finish line! So close!! What's the best part about the finish line? Besides being done? It's all the people gathered to cheer you on! That's the part I'm really trying to stay focused on. I'm trying to stay focused on your encouragement to help me across that finish line! I have the BEST support group a cancer person could have! Thank you for you kind words, your expressions of love and most importantly your service! Saying thank you doesn't feel like enough, but hopefully you'll feel the depth of my love in my words!
The finish line is in sight! Real close sight! I got a call today that they could get me in this coming WEDNESDAY, JUNE 10th!! I'm super glad to not have to wait till the end of the month! Even though I was prepared before I feel like I still need to mentally prepare, again. Ugh! and Hurray!
Melissa and I will organize the list of needs tomorrow and send out an email. Plan on the list being similar to what was put out there last time.
I'm exhausted! I'm worn out! Let's get this marathon over with!
Love you all!
The finish line is in sight! Real close sight! I got a call today that they could get me in this coming WEDNESDAY, JUNE 10th!! I'm super glad to not have to wait till the end of the month! Even though I was prepared before I feel like I still need to mentally prepare, again. Ugh! and Hurray!
Melissa and I will organize the list of needs tomorrow and send out an email. Plan on the list being similar to what was put out there last time.
I'm exhausted! I'm worn out! Let's get this marathon over with!
Love you all!
Thursday, June 4, 2015
Green means GO!
Got the much anticipated phone call from my cardiologist this afternoon. My heart monitor reading showed that my heart was throwing off PVC's while I slept, between the hours of 2-8am. This PVC's they considered to be harmless and therefore gave me the green light to re-schedule my reconstruction. The results from my echocardiogram show that my chambers are normal, the size of my ventricles are normal, the contracture of my heart is normal. There was nothing abnormal! They will fax over the findings to the plastic surgeon.
On Monday my plastic surgeon put me down in pencil for surgery on June 29th, that way I wouldn't have to wait 6-8 weeks to get in, which is how far out he was scheduling. I called this afternoon to have them put that appointment in INK! The lady who needs to do that scheduling was on another line so she'll be calling me to confirm that my appointment is solid.
So, if all goes as planned (and we know how well MY plans turn out) I'll be having surgery 2 days after my 39th birthday! Happy Birthday to me!!
On Monday my plastic surgeon put me down in pencil for surgery on June 29th, that way I wouldn't have to wait 6-8 weeks to get in, which is how far out he was scheduling. I called this afternoon to have them put that appointment in INK! The lady who needs to do that scheduling was on another line so she'll be calling me to confirm that my appointment is solid.
So, if all goes as planned (and we know how well MY plans turn out) I'll be having surgery 2 days after my 39th birthday! Happy Birthday to me!!
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
Be still, my heart!
Many of you have asked how I am feeling emotionally, here it is- by Monday night I had calmed down and accepted this bump in the road. I feel peace of mind. I am comfortable with my situation. I feel confidant that everything will work out. Eventually.
Monday I called my insurance and had a huge list of cardiologists I could see. I wanted to go to the same heart clinic I had been receiving my previous echocardiograms and was able to. I picked the soonest appointment they had, which was yesterday (Tuesday) at 2:30. I had taken with me a copy of the EKG from the surgical center but they still did one of their own. And wouldn't you know it! My heart beat just as it should. It performed perfectly. The heart condition I was experiencing Monday is called PVC (Premature Ventricular Contractions). It's not uncommon for your heart to throw off a random beat out of rhythm every once in while, but my heart was doing it in between every regular beat, that is NOT normal. But again, it only did that Monday, they couldn't recreate the problem Tuesday. It was decided that I would go home with a heart monitor to record my heart rhythm for the following 24 hours. Following the 24 hours I would return the monitor and they'd download my data.
I was also scheduled an echocardiogram for Wednesday at 3pm, which is when I was to return the heart monitor. The electrode tabs for the heart monitor were itchy and uncomfortable. Chemo has changed my skin and I am now allergic to adhesive from band-aids and the like. I was told that if the discomfort was too great to just take the tabs off and abort the recording. It was really hard, but I made it the full 24 hours! But it came with a cost, I now have itchy welt marks where the tabs were on my skin. Hopefully with a little hydro-cortisone cream I can have this cleared up by tomorrow.
When I showed up for my echo today I was told I was 30 minutes late. I guess they told me the wrong time yesterday. I was their last appointment of the day today and the lady checking me in wasn't very happy that I had delayed her going home. Today's echo was different than the ones I had during chemo, it was more intense. They mostly focused on certain parts of the heart and the muscle lining. My appointment consisted of 45 minutes of baseline imaging and 15 minutes doing an infinity echo (an echo using contrast). I had 3 different people take turns doing the testing. The first guy did the 15 minute infinity test and then decided he needed to use the contrast. The contrast allows for all the area of the heart they are looking at to be lighted up. To read more about this type of echo click on this link. An IV was started. I've already had 2 needle, IV pokes this week so now I have 3 holes in my arm. I still have a huge fear of needles! Today's experience getting poked was unpleasant. I bled a lot and they had to work to control my bleeding. Before doing the echo with contrast another technician did my baseline test. IT. TOOK. FOREVER! My expanders made for a really uncomfortable time too! Can I tell you how much I won't miss them?! Finally they did the contrast, Difinity echo. This part was the most fascinating to me! Watching the muscle lining contract and blood swooshing in and out of my heart was cool! Someone will read my tests and then I'll get the results, but the technicians all said they thought things looked normal.
Before leaving St. Marks I dropped off my heart monitor. They will read the data tomorrow morning and I'll know my results from that, and hopefully my echo as well, tomorrow afternoon.
This week has had its ups and downs, but I am so grateful to know that my needs are being met and that I am being well taken care of. Everyone has been so compassionate and kind, from the doctors and nurses to my friends and family!
I'm thankful for a friend who brought us a picnic dinner Monday night! A friend for dropping by a bag full of things to make me smile (and laugh), a brother who came by to hug me tight! Another amazing neighbor for dinner Tuesday! Grateful for a sweaty hug from a friend who was out running and stopped by just to hug me! Grateful for text messages, phone calls and beautiful flowers! I know that my Heavenly Father is watching over me. How can he not be with so many people praying for me?! Please be still me heart, so I can move on and schedule my reconstruction!
I love you all!
Monday I called my insurance and had a huge list of cardiologists I could see. I wanted to go to the same heart clinic I had been receiving my previous echocardiograms and was able to. I picked the soonest appointment they had, which was yesterday (Tuesday) at 2:30. I had taken with me a copy of the EKG from the surgical center but they still did one of their own. And wouldn't you know it! My heart beat just as it should. It performed perfectly. The heart condition I was experiencing Monday is called PVC (Premature Ventricular Contractions). It's not uncommon for your heart to throw off a random beat out of rhythm every once in while, but my heart was doing it in between every regular beat, that is NOT normal. But again, it only did that Monday, they couldn't recreate the problem Tuesday. It was decided that I would go home with a heart monitor to record my heart rhythm for the following 24 hours. Following the 24 hours I would return the monitor and they'd download my data.
I was also scheduled an echocardiogram for Wednesday at 3pm, which is when I was to return the heart monitor. The electrode tabs for the heart monitor were itchy and uncomfortable. Chemo has changed my skin and I am now allergic to adhesive from band-aids and the like. I was told that if the discomfort was too great to just take the tabs off and abort the recording. It was really hard, but I made it the full 24 hours! But it came with a cost, I now have itchy welt marks where the tabs were on my skin. Hopefully with a little hydro-cortisone cream I can have this cleared up by tomorrow.
When I showed up for my echo today I was told I was 30 minutes late. I guess they told me the wrong time yesterday. I was their last appointment of the day today and the lady checking me in wasn't very happy that I had delayed her going home. Today's echo was different than the ones I had during chemo, it was more intense. They mostly focused on certain parts of the heart and the muscle lining. My appointment consisted of 45 minutes of baseline imaging and 15 minutes doing an infinity echo (an echo using contrast). I had 3 different people take turns doing the testing. The first guy did the 15 minute infinity test and then decided he needed to use the contrast. The contrast allows for all the area of the heart they are looking at to be lighted up. To read more about this type of echo click on this link. An IV was started. I've already had 2 needle, IV pokes this week so now I have 3 holes in my arm. I still have a huge fear of needles! Today's experience getting poked was unpleasant. I bled a lot and they had to work to control my bleeding. Before doing the echo with contrast another technician did my baseline test. IT. TOOK. FOREVER! My expanders made for a really uncomfortable time too! Can I tell you how much I won't miss them?! Finally they did the contrast, Difinity echo. This part was the most fascinating to me! Watching the muscle lining contract and blood swooshing in and out of my heart was cool! Someone will read my tests and then I'll get the results, but the technicians all said they thought things looked normal.
Before leaving St. Marks I dropped off my heart monitor. They will read the data tomorrow morning and I'll know my results from that, and hopefully my echo as well, tomorrow afternoon.
This week has had its ups and downs, but I am so grateful to know that my needs are being met and that I am being well taken care of. Everyone has been so compassionate and kind, from the doctors and nurses to my friends and family!
I'm thankful for a friend who brought us a picnic dinner Monday night! A friend for dropping by a bag full of things to make me smile (and laugh), a brother who came by to hug me tight! Another amazing neighbor for dinner Tuesday! Grateful for a sweaty hug from a friend who was out running and stopped by just to hug me! Grateful for text messages, phone calls and beautiful flowers! I know that my Heavenly Father is watching over me. How can he not be with so many people praying for me?! Please be still me heart, so I can move on and schedule my reconstruction!
I love you all!
Monday, June 1, 2015
Christy's Surgery Update
Just a quick surgery update. Christy, Dave, and her dad checked in for her surgery at 8:30am. They made it through all the prep work--dressing, IVs, paperwork, etc. But sadly they hit an unexpected snag.
While the anesthesiologist went through his pre-surgery checklist he discovered Christy has an irregular heartbeat. While she's had other heart issues throughout this journey, today's problem is something more serious, something that has developed since last September. The anesthesiologist put a complete stop on today's surgery--it's too risky without addressing this new issue with her heart. They sent her home without rescheduling the surgery and with orders to get evaluated by a cardiologist and resolve the heart issues first.
As you can imagine, Christy is really really struggling with this. She had made a lot of preparations for today--physically, psychologically, emotionally, etc. She was ready to finish off this last stage and move forward. Instead she faces a whole new unexpected challenge.
Please send your prayers and thoughts her way.
Thanks,
Melissa
While the anesthesiologist went through his pre-surgery checklist he discovered Christy has an irregular heartbeat. While she's had other heart issues throughout this journey, today's problem is something more serious, something that has developed since last September. The anesthesiologist put a complete stop on today's surgery--it's too risky without addressing this new issue with her heart. They sent her home without rescheduling the surgery and with orders to get evaluated by a cardiologist and resolve the heart issues first.
As you can imagine, Christy is really really struggling with this. She had made a lot of preparations for today--physically, psychologically, emotionally, etc. She was ready to finish off this last stage and move forward. Instead she faces a whole new unexpected challenge.
Please send your prayers and thoughts her way.
Thanks,
Melissa
Thursday, May 28, 2015
My Big Dream
I have been having so much fun making Chemo scarves! So much fun that I find myself thinking about fabric, ALL THE TIME! I love checking for coupons to JoAnns, and I especially love hunting through the bolts of fabric for some fun designs. At night I dream about these scarves, and while I sleep great ideas come to my mind. Idea's that make me super excited and make me want MORE fabric!
Originally this project was going to be only 17 scarves, one for each chemo treatment. That was an easy project to fulfill. I have since made around 76 scarves, and that's just the ones I've completed! I have about 30-35 cut out and waiting to be sewn!
So what's my Big Dream?
My big dream is to get my chemo scarves in all of the 50 States! In order to do this I'll need to find friends or contacts in each state and ask them if they'd be willing to let me mail them a package of 10 chemo scarves and they'll just have to deliver them to a chemo center in their town. That shouldn't be too hard, right? Before I start looking for a contact from each state I need to buy a map from Utah Idaho Supply. One that I can write the name and address of the contact person in their state.
Dave and I need to sit down and design a logo to put on the tags for these scarves. And I'm hoping the company I found will print my logo on their labels. *Fingers crossed!*
10 scarves in 50 states is 500 chemo scarves! Holy! That's a lot! I'm not in a hurry to finish this project, I'll be ok if it takes me more than a year to complete. This project is about the process and getting FREE scarves onto the heads of chemo patients!
But how am I going to make this happen? So far I've been self funding this project, with a few friends who have donated (some super cute) Fabric. I'd love any suggestions on how I can get my hands on LOTS of fabric! I've thought of looking for businesses who would donate, but I'm not sure if I need to be a Non-profit to receive donations from a business. Anyone know how that works?
If you would like to donate fabric, or money for me to go pick out fabric, thread, etc, here's the breakdown of needs:
Fabric:
28 inches makes 2 chemo scarves and 2-3 JP drain bags.
1 yard and 20 inches will make 4 chemo scarves and about 8 JP drain bags.
2 1/3 yards will make 6 scarves and 16-20 JP drain bags.
Thread- tan preferably. The stitches are less obvious with tan than white thread.
Double sided ribbon (white)- 3/8in X 18 ft will make ties for 3 drain bags.
- 1/4in X 10 yds will make ties for 5 drain bags.
I have found the 3/8in X 18ft ribbon at JoAnns for $1.99, and the 1/4in X 10yds at Michaels for FIFTY CENTS! And if you have a coupon it could be even cheaper!
If any of you have any suggestion on how I can make this project go, I'd love to hear your ideas!
Lastly, quite a few of you have asked if I'll teach you how to make these scarves so you can do them at home. They really aren't hard! But what I'm thinking of doing is, after surgery and I'm feeling pretty good, I'll organize a sewing night at my house where I can teach you 'HOW' I cut them out, iron them, sew them, etc. If you'd be interested in coming to a scarf sewing night at my house let me know, that way I know who to invite.
Originally this project was going to be only 17 scarves, one for each chemo treatment. That was an easy project to fulfill. I have since made around 76 scarves, and that's just the ones I've completed! I have about 30-35 cut out and waiting to be sewn!
So what's my Big Dream?
My big dream is to get my chemo scarves in all of the 50 States! In order to do this I'll need to find friends or contacts in each state and ask them if they'd be willing to let me mail them a package of 10 chemo scarves and they'll just have to deliver them to a chemo center in their town. That shouldn't be too hard, right? Before I start looking for a contact from each state I need to buy a map from Utah Idaho Supply. One that I can write the name and address of the contact person in their state.
Dave and I need to sit down and design a logo to put on the tags for these scarves. And I'm hoping the company I found will print my logo on their labels. *Fingers crossed!*
10 scarves in 50 states is 500 chemo scarves! Holy! That's a lot! I'm not in a hurry to finish this project, I'll be ok if it takes me more than a year to complete. This project is about the process and getting FREE scarves onto the heads of chemo patients!
But how am I going to make this happen? So far I've been self funding this project, with a few friends who have donated (some super cute) Fabric. I'd love any suggestions on how I can get my hands on LOTS of fabric! I've thought of looking for businesses who would donate, but I'm not sure if I need to be a Non-profit to receive donations from a business. Anyone know how that works?
If you would like to donate fabric, or money for me to go pick out fabric, thread, etc, here's the breakdown of needs:
Fabric:
28 inches makes 2 chemo scarves and 2-3 JP drain bags.
1 yard and 20 inches will make 4 chemo scarves and about 8 JP drain bags.
2 1/3 yards will make 6 scarves and 16-20 JP drain bags.
Thread- tan preferably. The stitches are less obvious with tan than white thread.
Double sided ribbon (white)- 3/8in X 18 ft will make ties for 3 drain bags.
- 1/4in X 10 yds will make ties for 5 drain bags.
I have found the 3/8in X 18ft ribbon at JoAnns for $1.99, and the 1/4in X 10yds at Michaels for FIFTY CENTS! And if you have a coupon it could be even cheaper!
If any of you have any suggestion on how I can make this project go, I'd love to hear your ideas!
Lastly, quite a few of you have asked if I'll teach you how to make these scarves so you can do them at home. They really aren't hard! But what I'm thinking of doing is, after surgery and I'm feeling pretty good, I'll organize a sewing night at my house where I can teach you 'HOW' I cut them out, iron them, sew them, etc. If you'd be interested in coming to a scarf sewing night at my house let me know, that way I know who to invite.
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Cancer takes the blame
I've noticed that I put the blame on Cancer for most things that go wrong in my life. If I get frustrated because my chemo brain is sabotaging my productivity, I blame Cancer. If I don't have the energy level to get my house work done, I blame Cancer. And when I struggle with my new self image I blame Cancer. Yesterday was a day where I blamed Cancer for something it had no relation to, it's pretty silly now that I think back on it, but at the time I was mad at the situation I was in and I just knew that it was Cancer's fault!
Here's the story-
Trying to prepare and get everything done before my upcoming surgery is causing me to feel anxiety and stress. I don't mind doing the chores and things that need to be done, but what I don't like is the pressure I feel to get them done in a certain time frame (before SUNDAY!)
The list I had for yesterday was not too crazy: 1) Pick up ladder from neighbor 2) Drop off van to the dealership to be repaired. 3)Wash the walls in my entry way. 4) Wash the ceiling fan in said entry way. 5) Mow the front and back lawns. 6) Edge both lawns and fertilize.
After coming back home from dropping off my van I mowed the lawns and did the edging before it started to rain. My timing was perfect! It literally started raining the minute I put my edger away. Mowing and edging only took me 2 hours! Coming in the house to start washing walls and the ceiling fan I realized I couldn't remember how to use the neighbors ladder. It's a tall one and VERY heavy. It took me a while to figure it out but eventually I did. Getting the ladder into a good position to climb and do the cleaning I accidentally scraped the paint off the wall. I was beginning to feel frustrated but I was still determined to get the job done. I climbed up and started cleaning the fan blades, it was looking so nice, but my rag was becoming all junked up, so I climbed down to rinse it out. After rinsing out my rag I glanced up to admire the nice clean fan and then my brain did the dumbest thing, it forgot that I was just rinsing my rag and needed to climb back up and finish cleaning the rest of the fan. I was admiring my work and feeling accomplished that I was done; I started cleaning up and awkwardly figured out how to take the ladder back down. Once the ladder was situated on the my landing all ready to be taken back to the neighbor I realized I really wasn't done cleaning the darn ceiling fan! But now I was worn out from maneuvering this heavy ladder that I didn't have the strength to put it back up and finish the job. Oh-Well! I moved on to the ceiling fan in my room and figured I ask Dallas or Drea to help me with the ladder later in the day.
Soon after my cleaning was done I got a phone call from the dealership telling me how much it was going to cost to fix my problems. The problems were going to cost more than I could afford so I told them I'd come pick up my van and come back another time when I could afford the repairs. The problems weren't new and I had already been living with them for a while so what's another couple weeks? The problem that was the most concerning was my ignition switch, the key has a hard time going in! And it's gets a little more difficult each time. By diagnosing the problem they messed up the tumblers within the ingnition, which meant when I tried to leave the dealership my key wouldn't go in and therefore I couldn't start my van and leave. I tried for a good 20 minutes. By this point I was starting to cry because it was obvious I was going to have to leave my van to be fixed. Which means trying to find a ride home, AGAIN! And figuring out how to pay for repairs. Ugh! I hopped out of the van to go find the service writer and explain that whatever they did messed up the ignition even more, to the point it was going to be staying for them to fix. Couldn't find the service writer. Where in the heck did he go?! After 5 minutes or so of looking for him I went back to my van and began trying to get my key to go in and start. 10 or so minutes later it started!! The tears started up again! I was so happy! The plan at this point was to drive it home and park it in the garage, with the key IN the ignition so when we're ready to get it fixed we can drive it to wherever it needs to go. As I was driving home I was quite emotional and I remember saying, out loud, 'Cancer, this is all your fault!' I'm sure it isn't really cancers fault, but it felt so good to give it the blame. Cancer should get the bad wrap for everything that goes wrong. The changes in me both physical and emotional because of cancer probably make handling hard and stressful situations that much harder. Nobody likes stress, nobody likes dealing with hard things. And I've never met anyone who liked cancer either.
If I need to find something positive in this I guess I'd have to say that there must be something to learn from it. If I'll goes well I'll have a pretty good idea of just how much stress I can handle. By the weight of the current stresses I'd say I'm going to be a body builder in no time!
Here's the story-
Trying to prepare and get everything done before my upcoming surgery is causing me to feel anxiety and stress. I don't mind doing the chores and things that need to be done, but what I don't like is the pressure I feel to get them done in a certain time frame (before SUNDAY!)
The list I had for yesterday was not too crazy: 1) Pick up ladder from neighbor 2) Drop off van to the dealership to be repaired. 3)Wash the walls in my entry way. 4) Wash the ceiling fan in said entry way. 5) Mow the front and back lawns. 6) Edge both lawns and fertilize.
After coming back home from dropping off my van I mowed the lawns and did the edging before it started to rain. My timing was perfect! It literally started raining the minute I put my edger away. Mowing and edging only took me 2 hours! Coming in the house to start washing walls and the ceiling fan I realized I couldn't remember how to use the neighbors ladder. It's a tall one and VERY heavy. It took me a while to figure it out but eventually I did. Getting the ladder into a good position to climb and do the cleaning I accidentally scraped the paint off the wall. I was beginning to feel frustrated but I was still determined to get the job done. I climbed up and started cleaning the fan blades, it was looking so nice, but my rag was becoming all junked up, so I climbed down to rinse it out. After rinsing out my rag I glanced up to admire the nice clean fan and then my brain did the dumbest thing, it forgot that I was just rinsing my rag and needed to climb back up and finish cleaning the rest of the fan. I was admiring my work and feeling accomplished that I was done; I started cleaning up and awkwardly figured out how to take the ladder back down. Once the ladder was situated on the my landing all ready to be taken back to the neighbor I realized I really wasn't done cleaning the darn ceiling fan! But now I was worn out from maneuvering this heavy ladder that I didn't have the strength to put it back up and finish the job. Oh-Well! I moved on to the ceiling fan in my room and figured I ask Dallas or Drea to help me with the ladder later in the day.
Soon after my cleaning was done I got a phone call from the dealership telling me how much it was going to cost to fix my problems. The problems were going to cost more than I could afford so I told them I'd come pick up my van and come back another time when I could afford the repairs. The problems weren't new and I had already been living with them for a while so what's another couple weeks? The problem that was the most concerning was my ignition switch, the key has a hard time going in! And it's gets a little more difficult each time. By diagnosing the problem they messed up the tumblers within the ingnition, which meant when I tried to leave the dealership my key wouldn't go in and therefore I couldn't start my van and leave. I tried for a good 20 minutes. By this point I was starting to cry because it was obvious I was going to have to leave my van to be fixed. Which means trying to find a ride home, AGAIN! And figuring out how to pay for repairs. Ugh! I hopped out of the van to go find the service writer and explain that whatever they did messed up the ignition even more, to the point it was going to be staying for them to fix. Couldn't find the service writer. Where in the heck did he go?! After 5 minutes or so of looking for him I went back to my van and began trying to get my key to go in and start. 10 or so minutes later it started!! The tears started up again! I was so happy! The plan at this point was to drive it home and park it in the garage, with the key IN the ignition so when we're ready to get it fixed we can drive it to wherever it needs to go. As I was driving home I was quite emotional and I remember saying, out loud, 'Cancer, this is all your fault!' I'm sure it isn't really cancers fault, but it felt so good to give it the blame. Cancer should get the bad wrap for everything that goes wrong. The changes in me both physical and emotional because of cancer probably make handling hard and stressful situations that much harder. Nobody likes stress, nobody likes dealing with hard things. And I've never met anyone who liked cancer either.
If I need to find something positive in this I guess I'd have to say that there must be something to learn from it. If I'll goes well I'll have a pretty good idea of just how much stress I can handle. By the weight of the current stresses I'd say I'm going to be a body builder in no time!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)